When Words Fail

Hi friends.

Local Author Fair Debrief

The Local Author Fair did not go the way I expected, nor wanted. Look at how cute my set-up was though!

I went into this fair with the intent to sell. I dropped the prices of my books and prints by nearly 50%. I brought every copy I had. The Johnson County Public Library shared that last year (and this year!) every author sold, on average, six books.

I sold none.

Words fail. I’ve had a lot of thoughts and feelings arise from this, and there are so many things to say, yet I’m at a loss of words. What is there to say? What can I describe without falling apart?

In a few days, “Friends for a Day” will be a year old. That is really bonkers, isn’t it? I intend to celebrate the characters and story I’ve created in as many ways as I can. Drawing Eliza and Ori again, or making them out of clay. Putting a sale on my books for a week. Donating books to Little Libraries and pantries in my area. Getting a scoop of ice cream. 

Support Indiana Libraries

I went to the Indianapolis statehouse to oppose Senate Bill 1, along with a few hundred librarians, and a few thousand teachers. I won't pretend to be an expert on politics and property taxes, but to briefly explain, SB1 will cut and redistribute taxes. This impacts public schools' and libraries' funding exponentially. Unfortunately our advocacy didn't change SB1 being signed into law, and we won't know the full effects until 2028. I know Johnson County Public Libraries expect to lose 40% of their funding, though I am sure it is much worse for other counties in Indiana.

The moment I wanted to share about this experience, besides the disappointing outcome, is the little "Read-In Protest" we had outside of the Lieutenant Governor's Office. About 70-100 people all sat down, mostly on the floor, and quietly read a book in front of the Governor's door for about an hour. I luckily brought my tiny sketchbook with me, and was able to sketch and participate in this. Isn't this so neat?

Danielle’s Sketchbook

I drew something very unlike me, and yet very personal. I feel a bit ashamed to share. 

I don’t like to draw sad things. It’s the combination of mentally putting myself in a depressed state for hours while drawing, and making others sad by looking at this. And yet I couldn’t bring myself to draw something joyfully pink like I wanted. Something in me wanted to be brutally honest about where I was at the moment, and so, I let myself go there.

I tried my best to encapsulate what depression feels like, at least, in my experience. It’s dark, cold, and colorless. It’s struggling, drowning, and screaming without making a sound. It’s hopeless, lonely, and inevitable. It’s heavy. It’s unbearable. And it never lets you go.

Black is the only color to describe this experience. I haven’t made a black and white illustration in years. Color is my absolute favorite element of art, so completely depriving that aspect from my illustration was a real challenge. It was a lot of back and forth (hmm that’s too light, now it's too dark, etc.). I did my best.

I am feeling better after allowing myself to get those feelings on paper. I hope I can have something more pleasant to look at for you all next time, but, we shall see.

Until then. Stay safe,

Danielle